Defying Gravity. Not

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

I have fallen a lot in my life. I’ve fallen off skateboards, ice skates (figure & hockey,) bicycles, trees, ladders, roofs, bunk beds, stairs and skis. As a skier, I’ve lived through multiple falls, including the infamous Yard Sale where nearly everything attached to me: my skis, poles, gloves, hat, sunglasses/goggles and any shred of pride was scattered across a debris field for all to see.

I’m 6’3” so not super tall, but on the taller side of average. Between Christmas and New Year, one of my sons said he was walking out to get the mail and I decided to join him. We have a very long driveway, so getting the mail is a bit of a trek. I slipped on some old gym shoes and my son and I headed out to the mailbox.

We were chatting about something and my right foot hit a patch of black ice that was lightly covered by the snow. That awful feeling of knowing you’re about to fall but instinct tells you to fight it at the same time. I tried to catch myself for what felt like an eternity, before gravity took over and I hit the asphalt hard.

I felt my shoulder dislocate and my arm went numb. Instinct told me to pop my arm back into place, which I did then immediately felt sick to my stomach by the sensation of it. I didn’t hit my head but I knew I was hurt. My poor son looked at me terrified. He helped me back to my feet and escorted me back to our house. By later that evening, I started to feel better. The next few days I couldn’t lift anything and my right hand didn’t fully work. Something didn’t feel right so I headed to my doctor where I got an X-ray. Nothing was broken. An MRI showed much more damage.

The dislocation separated tendons from bone, snapped a tendon and tore some muscles in my arm. The only way to fix it was with surgery to reattach, sew and do whatever they had to do. My decision was to either have the surgery or take the risk of limited mobility in a few years. As a right-handed author, I knew I had to do it.

For the last five weeks, I’ve been in an arm sling to keep my shoulder supported. I’ve learned to use my left hand but I’m not very adept at it. I’m going to physical therapy now and slowly getting back into light use of my right hand.

I’ve not been writing as much and look forward to being back at my keyboard more regularly. My lessons:

1. Don’t wear old shoes with no tread left on them while walking on an ice-covered driveway. Always carry a phone or walk with somebody else if possible.

2. Know my limits and remind myself that even though I feel like I’m 25, my body reminds me I’m not. By a long shot.

3. Sometimes a body just needs to heal. Even strong people need help. I’m fiercely independent (and sometimes a control-freak) but sometimes I need help, too. This last lesson is my most challenging. Letting go and allowing myself to heal is way harder than I expected.